Example+Writer's+Workshop+First+Draft

[|I Ether Pad Legend] __ First Draft: __

A long, long, time ago, flamingos had short, fat legs.

One day, Fran Flamingo was enjoying the sunshine in Florida. After spending hours relaxing in the water, she decided it was time to return home to her family. When Fran tried to move her legs, she realized she was stuck in the sand! Fran wiggled and stretched and wiggled some more, but she just could not get her legs out of the sand. Just as she was about to give up hope, her friend Frank Flamingo came walking by. Frank noticed that Fran was stuck in the sand, so he decided to try to help pull her out. Using his beak, he grabbed hold of Fran and pulled with all of his might! As he pulled, Fran felt her legs begin to stretch. The more Frank pulled, the longer Fran's legs grew. Pop! Fran and Frank flew across the water. Fran was no longer stuck, but her legs were long and skinny now.

From this day on, flamingos have long, skinny legs, just like Fran.

**Peer Comments:** What part of Florida does Fran live in? Maybe you can describe the area, and climate for readers that have never visited Florida. Very cute!!!

__ Revised Draft: __  A long, long, time ago, flamingos had short, fat legs.

One day, Fran Flamingo was enjoying the warm, sunshine in Sanibel Island, Florida. After spending hours relaxing in the blue-green water, she decided it was time to return home to her family. When Fran tried to move her legs, she realized she was stuck in the sand! Fran wiggled and stretched and wiggled some more, but she just could not get her legs out of the sand. Just as she was about to give up hope, her friend Frank Flamingo came strutting by. Frank noticed that Fran was stuck in the sand, so he decided to try to help pull her out. Using his beak, he grabbed hold of Fran and pulled with all of his might! As he pulled, Fran felt her legs begin to stretch. The more Frank pulled, the longer Fran's legs grew. Pop! Fran and Frank flew across the water. Fran was no longer stuck, but her legs were long and skinny now.

From this day on, flamingos have long, skinny legs, just like Fran.